Body-slimming lasers help clients to shorten waist diameters switching from centimeters to inches or bullying a leading mathematician into recalculating pi. Eschew math and slim down with science with today’s Groupon to JoLi LaserCenter in Framingham. Choose from the following options:

• For $99, you get one Yolo Curve laser treatment with whole-body vibration (a $388.88 value).
• For $1,200, you get six Yolo Curve treatments with whole-body vibrations (a $2,333.28 value) and a detox kit and nutritional counseling (a $619.95 value; a $2,953.23 total value).
• For $2,400, you get nine Yolo Curve treatments with whole-body vibrations (a $3,499.92 value) and a detox kit and nutritional counseling (a $619.95 value; a $4,119.87 total value).

The technicians at JoLi LaserCenter coax the unwanted contents of adipose cells out of the body with noninvasive Yolo Curve treatments. Customers who elect the first option will receive one session on one bodily region of their choice, such as the waistline, mid and lower abdomen, back, buttocks and thigh areas, arms and underarms, or chin. After a brief qualifying consultation, the technician will ready topical paddles and probes for the 20-minute lipid-zapping procedure. The beam painlessly barges past the epidermal bouncers to the subcutaneous level of the skin, transferring energy to fat cells until they begin leaking out fatty acids, glycerol, and styrofoam packing peanuts, which may reduce the size of the fat cells and visible cellulite in the treated area. After completing the treatment, patients will receive a whole-body vibration session that causes rapid contraction and relaxation of muscle fibers, and may prevent cells from changing their minds about letting go of 400–500 units of calorie content.

Clients opting for the six-pack or nine-pack of treatments will return to JoLi LaserCenter for more Yolo Curve sessions in an attempt to cast off more inches from one chosen body zone. Treatments vary from patient to patient, but the average protocol calls for three sessions per week over a period of three weeks.

In addition to the laser treatments and whole-body vibration sessions, patients will receive a liver detoxification kit to aid in evicting buildups of indigestible substances and lazy, loitering appendixes from the filter organ, as well as one-on-one nutrition counseling sessions at every visit along with a brief guide to suggested foods.