For centuries mankind has envied pizza dough and wondered how we too could be kneaded to relaxed, savory states without paying for the luxury of being escorted via wooden paddle to a Sicilian brick oven. Be pounded into the shape of relaxation with today's Groupon: for $49, you get a 90-minute healing massage and a paraffin hand dip from Kathy Adams LMT (a $100 value) in the Battle Creek Courthouse Athletic Club. This Groupon may also be used for the hydrating, organic bamboo silk, or deep-tissue massages by request.
Kathy Adams is a licensed massage therapist who uses her persuasive fingertips to coax soreness out of weary muscles through customized body massages. During the 90-minute healing massage (a $90 value), Adams targets specific bodily aches with relaxation and deep-tissue techniques as well as Arnica lotion––which is ripe with natural anti-inflammatory properties to help alleviate swollen joins, ligament tenderness, and bruised egos after failing to open novelty-size jelly jars. After the massage evicts discomfort from muscle-abodes, the paraffin dip (a $10 value) hydrates hands with skin-moisturizing oils that also increase circulation.
Guests should arrive early if they wish to take a complimentary dip in the hot tub or cleanse their pores in the steamy sauna before the body kneading begins. Access to the athletic club's locker room allows visitors to secure their valuables, which might include wallets, cell phones, or soap sculptures of Richard Nixon.
Massage license #16405.