Jump to: Celebrity Chefs Trying to Stop You From Cooking at Home

Give a guy a fish, and he'll eat for a day (assuming it's one ginormous fish); teach a guy to make perfect sushi rolls, and he'll still mooch all your fish, but hey, free sushi. Today's Groupon can save you from embarrassing Thanksgivings, disastrous dinners with in-laws, and foolhardy tamale-making face-offs. For $45, you get $85 toward a cooking class at Kendall College on Goose Island. Though most classes cost $85, you can also use it toward one of Kendall's pricier classes or for you and a friend to attend a lower-cost class; just pay the difference (you must use your Groupon all at once).

Avenge your bitter, flightless existence with succulent feasts of bird by taking a course on how to safely sauté, sear, stir fry, steam, boil, braise, roast, grill, and otherwise prepare poultry on February 5 ($85). If you're not sure which end of the knife is the handle, spare yourself some painful trial and error with Basic Knife Skills ($55) on Sunday, February 28. Flashy blade-wielding techniques such as mincing, chopping, slicing, dicing, chiffonading, whittling gnomes out of limestone, and more will enter your culinary lexicon after this three-hour course. You can also learn the arcane secrets to perfect sushi rice and rolling your own maki at Sushi 101 on March 21 ($65). Surprise your sweetie with a romantic couples dinner date just in time for Valentine's Day. You'll get to cozy up to each other as you prepare a seasonal menu on February 13 ($85 per person). Or alter the typical timing of amorous foodage by making some brunch instead ($65 per person) at 11 a.m. on February 14. Check out Kendall's catalogue for a complete listing of classes.

Classes at Kendall College are taught by respected faculty and professional chefs with years of experience and a thorough understanding of alchemy. They'll teach you why your soufflé always falls (hint: it doesn't hate you), as well as braising, roasting, and that darkest of dark arts—broasting. You'll get your hands full of animal, vegetable, and sauce—and you'll emerge the star of your next potluck.