Kids, like Ponce de León, need constant supervision while exploring, or they’ll simply vanish into a jungle in search of eternal youth. Set your child on the path to amusement with today’s Groupon to Kids Party Adventures in Metairie. Choose between the following options:

• For $5, you get a two-hour open-play pass (a $14 value).
• For $45, you get a 90-day VIP play pass, which includes admission to all activities (a $120 value). Passes grant admission for two hours at a time on Tuesday–Friday between the hours of 3 p.m. and 8 p.m.

Youthful smiles illumine 12,000 square feet of play space at Kids Party Adventures, where the imaginations of kids ages 2–15 run rampant over a dizzying array of games and activities. As tykes and preteens race to cram each two-hour session with maximal fun in the safe, handicap-accessible wonderland, parents can watch from a distance and rest assured that attractions such as the Monster Mural coloring wall and inflatable obstacle course are designed to prepare their children for future careers in academia or American Gladiator. Pintsize prima donnas powder their button noses in the makeup room, and a Roller Racer track hosts high-speed fun.

Though not included with this Groupon, a game room provides video and redemption games, and the education center hosts learning activities and panel discussions on building a quality relationship with the Tooth Fairy. Parents and progeny 10–14 years old get a foot-stomping welcome on the last Friday of the month, when the sounds of T.J. the DJ light up the dance floor during sock hops that hearken back to a time when all fun was wholesome and all socks were still analog.