Today’s Groupon offers big-top skills for aspiring circusonians of the non-clown lineage. For $25, you’ll get two hour-long circus arts classes at Kinetic Theory, a $40–$60 value. It's perfect for anyone who has dreamt of taking a contortion class to become a human animal balloon at his or her cousin’s birthday party. If you want to share the rigors of circusry with a friend, you can split your Groupon and each take one class.
As a child, you probably marveled at the circus people’s taffy-like limbs and deft aerial swing transitions and longed to either eat them or swing like them. This is your opportunity to hone your star drop and plate spinning skills. Sign up for any two classes (with the exception of the two-hour classes); you can take the same class twice. Tumble your way into a great workout at the acrobatics class or glide through the air like a Philippine Flying Lemur in the beginning aerial arts course. Veteran performers—instructors include Cirque du Soleil alums and professionally trained aerialists—will show you the ropes. Kinetic Theory also offers youth classes for children as young as two years old.
This Groupon is the perfect way to break up the monotony of a regular gym workout and make your youthful dreams come true. If you crave excessive amounts of attention, you’ll relish the chance to ham it up circus-style in front of the class or use your experience as an icebreaker at the 2010 Natural Science Gala in Jacksonville.
Note: There are no age or weight restrictions. Those 18 and younger must have a guardian sign a waiver.
San Francisco Weekly, LA Stage, and LA Weekly featured Kinetic Energy’s experimental theater performance group. Yelpers give it 4.5 stars and LA Weekly named it Best Place to Express Yourself and Your Biceps:
- But self-expression, as it turns out, is a wonderful distraction from pain and exhaustion, and an excellent motivating force — we’re all hams at heart. – LA Weekly
Performers Who Regretted Joining The Circus
Running away and joining the circus has long been the dream of every American, but not every dream stays happy forever. Here are some famous circus performers who ended up regretting joining the circus:
- Sword-Swallowing Sal, The Fire Eater: His lack of non-sword-swallowing job skills made it difficult to find non-circus work. Unable to quit and deeply afraid of non-airplane travel, he was forced to spend entire paychecks on plane tickets to travel with the circus. His only companion is a portable DVD player, recently broken.
- Bobo and Pepper, Elephant Ballerinas: They each harbored the same two secrets: a desire to leave circus life forever and to get married to their trainer, Matt. Deeply believing that if one were to leave, the other would marry the dominant human, they suffered in solitude, their desires palpable but unspoken.
- Peter "Circus Boy" Almete, age 44: A lifetime of experimenting with household cleaners left this spritely performer unable to age or feel emotions. Trapped in a boy's body and legally disenfranchised due to multiple felony convictions, Almete longed to be adopted by a loving family, then to rob them.
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