Before modern kitchens, humans prepared food around fire pits, foraging for pizza rolls in freezers carved out of glaciers. Cook a meal out of the reach of marauding mastodons with today's Groupon: for $69, you get $300 toward granite countertops and kitchen remodel services from Kitchenomics, Inc. Click here for Kitchenomics, Inc.'s service area.

Kitchenomics, Inc.'s design doyens complete custom kitchens and bathrooms with a wide variety of granite colors and edge styles. At an average price of $65 per square foot of granite, Groupon holders will receive full remodel services, beginning with a design consultation. During consultations, clients receive a detailed template based on their existing countertop layout, and can choose from a rocky rainbow of granite-countertop colors and eased and polished edges. The project price also includes installation of a chrome or satin finished faucet, as well as a stainless-steel sink. Overseen by project and quality-assurance managers, skilled technicians will install new components and dispose of condemned counters and dish apartments. Licensed plumbers will also pamper new pipes or reconfigure old ones before carrying old sinks out to be repurposed as giant birdbaths or tiny swimming pools.