Because of roasts' long cooking time, many cooks time-travel in order to start them in the past, creating insoluble paradoxes when they accidentally cause their own grandfathers to win the Nixon Administration edition of Iron Chef. Get quick roasts without contradiction with today's Groupon: for $39, you get 5 pounds of chef-prepared, precooked pot roast with shipping from La Cense Beef (an $84.94 value).
Featured in the Wall Street Journal, La Cense Beef's grass-fed meats sport higher levels of nutrients and a smaller environmental impact than their grain-fed counterparts. Made from free-range Montana cattle, the lightly seasoned slow-cooked pot roast floods taste buds with hearty beefiness sporting less fat and fewer calories than conventional, grain-fed pot roast. La Cense's sustainable-ranching practices also eliminate the need for pesticides, antibiotics, and hormones, resulting in better health for the land and less drama among cattle herds. Hand-cut, vacuum-sealed, and immediately frozen at the time of processing, the tender bottom-round cut arrives at doorsteps perfectly preserved in dry ice and with complete preparation instructions provided. Since the roast arrives precooked, only an hour of cooking time and 15 minutes of cowboy poetry recitation is necessary to unveil its complex, savory flavor.
La Cense Beef
In 2009, the Wall Street Journal took an investigative foray into the world of grass-fed cattle ranching. Journalists purchased steaks from five U.S. producers and fired them at a backyard barbecue outside of Phoenix. They then proceeded to rate each cut, unanimously concluding that the new york strip steak from La Cense Beef was superior to its competitors and even “comparable to a strip at an elite steakhouse.”
The ranchers at La Cense Beef were hardly surprised by this conclusion. On 88,000 acres in western Montana, they raise healthy cows by following methods first practiced on the ranch in 1869. Through sustainable practices, the team has been able to avoid the use of pesticides, antibiotics, and hormones. They hand-cut, vacuum-seal, and immediately freeze each steak before shipping packages with instructions and cheat codes to help unlock the beef’s natural flavor.