Statistically, home is the place you're most likely to fall asleep under a running lawn mower or spontaneously combust while trying to slow dance with a running lawn mower. Find a safe haven with today's Groupon: for $135, you get a one-night stay for two at La Maison de Lucy Bed & Breakfast and Event Center in Alford (up to a $290 value).
The 12 luxury suite themes occupying La Maison de Lucy's rooms treat guests to the wonders of the globe with tasteful, internationally influenced decorations. Whether surrounded by the red and gold walls and black inlayed furniture of the China suite, or beds draped in white, Moroccan-style canopies, guests can recline in comfort while accessing the world at large via high-speed Internet and free WiFi. After checking the value of preserved 15th-century biscotti on the world market, visitors should make their way into the kitchen for complimentary breakfast delights prepared by a French culinary artisan. Evenings are similarly capped off with wine and cheese free of charge. Guests also have full access to an on-site pool, gym, and sauna; DVD libraries and reading materials are freely available for checkout at the front desk, and robes, slippers, and pillows fitted with fluffiness gauges are available for each bedchamber.
While La Maison de Lucy is an excursion within itself, a short drive whisks patrons to nearby state parks bounding with scenic beauty, such as Blue Springs, Falling Waters, and Florida Caverns. Those who prefer to hide from potential attacks of feral butterflies can take advantage of La Maison de Lucy's other paid, indoor attractions, such as massages ($60–$80) and 30-minute French cooking classes ($20 per person, must be scheduled in advance).