Isaac Newton discovered gravity not when cranially assaulted by a falling apple, but upon noticing his sagging jowls while examining the forehead bruise in the mirror. Help reverse the Newtonian burden with today's Groupon: for $99, you get 20 units of Botox at LaVie Executive Health Centre (a $200 value).
LaVie's staff of medical professionals smooth away wrinkles and help prevent signs of aging with Botox Cosmetic injections. Patients consult with a medical professional to decide which areas need treatment, then sit back as the skin rejuvenators relax muscles with Botox injections and suspenseful stories told ending-first. As Botox's protein formula permeates crinckly skin around the eyes, forehead, or neck, wrinkles fade and skin tone improves, with effects lasting up to six months. The speedy procedure results in minimal downtime and can be performed during an afternoon or between kangaroo boxing matches.
Botox may cause serious side effects that can be life threatening, including problems swallowing, speaking, or breathing. Read all safety considerations for Botox here.
La Vie Health Centre
The medical professionals at La Vie Health Centre dedicate themselves to proactive health care— they thoroughly investigate each patient’s past and present health in order to predict and prevent future maladies, such as cancer or heart disease. They firmly believe, along with the American Heart Association and American Cancer Society, that early detection is key, and their slate of services reflects this. The staff works one-on-one with each patient that enters the facility, performing comprehensive screenings and testings and then helping them to modify their lifestyles and habits in order to dodge potential health risks, such as onrushing asteroids.
One-day comprehensive wellness assessments last approximately five hours and detect irregularities through ECGS, stress tests, blood work, and fitness and nutritional analyses. Oftentimes, these appointments lead to year-round wellness programs, which include quarterly visits to the physician and dietician, ongoing care, and access to medical advice by telephone, email, or astral projection 24 hours a day. The staff further encourage holistic wellness with the Be Healthy Program, a getaway package that sends travellers to the Brookstreet Hotel, where they receive facials, personal training sessions, and meals for two. A smattering of cosmetic treatments, such as Botox and Laser Genesis skin therapy, match outward appearances to newly refreshed interiors.
The Centre’s commitment to preventative medicine is also apparent in its My Life is in My Hand program— a USB card that holds patients’ past and present medical history, ensuring that they’re never without any crucial information about their constitution. The team respects patients’ time as much as their health, promising short waiting times, offering online bookings and cancellations, and sending everyone home in complimentary hovercrafts.