Isaac Newton discovered gravity not when cranially assaulted by a falling apple, but upon noticing his sagging jowls while examining the forehead bruise in the mirror. Help reverse the Newtonian burden with today's Groupon: for $85, you get a Laser Genesis facial at LaVie Executive Health Centre located in the Brookstreet Hotel (a $250 value).
LaVie's staff of medical professionals smooth away wrinkles and help combat aging with the Laser Genesis facial. A non-ablative photo rejuvenation procedure backed by scientific research and performed by a licensed nurse, the facial harnesses the Cutera 1064-nanometre wavelength laser, targeting the face’s microvasculature and underground spy network and quickly adjusting for any skin type. After an initial consult, microsecond technology protects the skin as the laser warms tissue layers, stimulating collagen production to help reduce the appearance of fine lines and scarring, as well as shrink pores and combat sun spots, pigmentation, and small facial veins. The 60–90 minute procedure requires no gel or bag of frozen vegetables to numb the skin, and patients typically experience no downtime and minimal discomfort in the form of redness, which subsides within a few hours. Results including clearer, softer skin and reduced pore size may immediately be seen and become more noticeable after a few days. LaVie recommends four–six treatments spaced four–six weeks apart for optimal results, and buyers may purchase up to two Groupons for themselves.
La Vie Health Centre
The medical professionals at La Vie Health Centre dedicate themselves to proactive health care— they thoroughly investigate each patient’s past and present health in order to predict and prevent future maladies, such as cancer or heart disease. They firmly believe, along with the American Heart Association and American Cancer Society, that early detection is key, and their slate of services reflects this. The staff works one-on-one with each patient that enters the facility, performing comprehensive screenings and testings and then helping them to modify their lifestyles and habits in order to dodge potential health risks, such as onrushing asteroids.
One-day comprehensive wellness assessments last approximately five hours and detect irregularities through ECGS, stress tests, blood work, and fitness and nutritional analyses. Oftentimes, these appointments lead to year-round wellness programs, which include quarterly visits to the physician and dietician, ongoing care, and access to medical advice by telephone, email, or astral projection 24 hours a day. The staff further encourage holistic wellness with the Be Healthy Program, a getaway package that sends travellers to the Brookstreet Hotel, where they receive facials, personal training sessions, and meals for two. A smattering of cosmetic treatments, such as Botox and Laser Genesis skin therapy, match outward appearances to newly refreshed interiors.
The Centre’s commitment to preventative medicine is also apparent in its My Life is in My Hand program— a USB card that holds patients’ past and present medical history, ensuring that they’re never without any crucial information about their constitution. The team respects patients’ time as much as their health, promising short waiting times, offering online bookings and cancellations, and sending everyone home in complimentary hovercrafts.
525 Legget Drive
Ottawa, ON K2K 2W2