Isaac Newton discovered gravity not when cranially assaulted by a falling apple, but upon noticing his sagging jowls while examining the forehead bruise in the mirror. Help reverse the Newtonian burden with today's Groupon: for $85, you get a Laser Genesis facial at LaVie Executive Health Centre located in the Brookstreet Hotel (a $250 value).

LaVie's staff of medical professionals smooth away wrinkles and help combat aging with the Laser Genesis facial. A non-ablative photo rejuvenation procedure backed by scientific research and performed by a licensed nurse, the facial harnesses the Cutera 1064-nanometre wavelength laser, targeting the face’s microvasculature and underground spy network and quickly adjusting for any skin type. After an initial consult, microsecond technology protects the skin as the laser warms tissue layers, stimulating collagen production to help reduce the appearance of fine lines and scarring, as well as shrink pores and combat sun spots, pigmentation, and small facial veins. The 60–90 minute procedure requires no gel or bag of frozen vegetables to numb the skin, and patients typically experience no downtime and minimal discomfort in the form of redness, which subsides within a few hours. Results including clearer, softer skin and reduced pore size may immediately be seen and become more noticeable after a few days. LaVie recommends four–six treatments spaced four–six weeks apart for optimal results, and buyers may purchase up to two Groupons for themselves.