Unlike dough, the texture of the human body does not improve after kneading, it only gets more relaxed. For $45, today’s Groupon pampers your body with a one-hour massage from Laguna Beach Massage (a $95 value). Choose from three massages—Swedish, prenatal, or chakra massage—and deliver rapture where rapture was thought to be lost forever after an unfortunate game of rapture hide-and-seek.
Laguna Beach Massage is a peaceful ocean-view parlor that’s been a licensed massagery since 2003. The company philosophy is that the body, mind, and soul must be balanced in order to achieve well-being, and a massage can harmonize the three. Through the use of organic oils and the skilled hands of LBM’s expert staff, you’ll be treated to one of three restorative treatments:
- Swedish Massage: Rest the fretful channels of your mind and body with a circulatory massage that makes your body feel as though it’s been peacefully tranquilized.
- Prenatal Massage: You can spoil yourself and your inner child with a massage specially catered for second-trimester moms in the midst of a healthy pregnancy.
- Chakra Massage: For those who are always misplacing their chakras, relax them into proper alignment to return order and civility to your system.
When Elton John sang “You’ll Be Blessed,” it’s certainly worth assuming that he was referring to the natal benefits of prenatal massage and vaguely alluding to the rewards of Swedish and chakra massage. If you’re currently listening to that song, give your body the massage that Elton John describes so eloquently. If you’re not listening to that song, track down that song, put it in your tape player, and listen to it on repeat for one to seven hours.
In 2008, CityVoter put Laguna Beach Massage into the top five for Best Massage in Orange County, and this year again nominated it for the same award. Three CityVoter reviewers give it five stars: > * They have the best prenatal massage I have ever recieved! [sic] – hoagpedsnurse > * They have a prenatal massage that has been a lifesaver to me these last couple of months! Magnificent to say the least! – BBonboard > * Great massages, great atmosphere. The service is very good. – User6646