Without regular cleaning, cars will crumble, decompose, and finally return to the earth from whence they originally sprouted. Pry your ride from Mother Nature's greedy fingers with today's Groupon: for $15, you get a VIP auto-detailing package at Laird Wheaton GM in Nanaimo (a $34.95 value).

Laird Wheaton GM's skilled car cleansers wash, dry, and detail motor vehicles in an Insurance Corporation of British Columbia–accredited body shop. In the 30-minute VIP detailing package, techs hand wash, tickle, and telekinetically transport dirt off horseless chariots, then thoroughly dry the vehicle's exterior to reveal a shimmery glow. Vacuums invade interiors and suck up pesky pet hair, crumbs, and mud stuck to the floors and seating, and dust-targeting towels polish the dash and centre console. Finally, window washers expunge all smudges, dried bugs, and stained-glass portraits of Henry Ford from weary windshields.