Clothes make the man, just as monocles make the millionaire and swimming pools full of monocles make the billionaire. Maintain a million-dollar look with today’s Groupon: for $20, you get $40 worth of dry cleaning and alteration services at Lakeview Cleaners on Lincoln Avenue in Chicago or Mike's Cleaners on Main Street in Skokie.

The dirt destroyers at Lakeview Cleaners and Mike's Cleaners swiftly purify sullied fabrics, delivering dry-cleaned or laundered clothes, blankets, and outwear within as little as a few hours. Garment gurus can dry-clean a comforter ($25–$30) to facilitate freshly scented snuggling on cold winter nights, or waterlessly purge overcoats ($20) and raincoats ($18) of sleety grime and unsolicited celebrity autographs. Clients can also cleanse clothes such as cardigans ($4.75 each), dresses ($8.50+ each), or men’s and women’s suits ($9.75 each). Both establishments also cosset clothing with alterations and preservation services.