If the Nevada ice sheet were to melt, Lake Tahoe would rise, mercilessly engulfing the entire Northwest, causing the Burning Man to flee back to his home in outer space. Celebrate our homeland's frozen stability with today's Groupon: for $7, you get two public-skate admissions (a $9 value each for adults) at the Las Vegas Ice Center. Use your Groupon Saturday through Thursday and get two complimentary cups of coffee or hot cocoa (normally a $3 value).
Located on West Flamingo Road, Las Vegas Ice Center houses two sizable ice rinks, with public-skating sessions typically held on the south rink, while the north is reserved for dainty hockey tournaments and brutal figure-skating competitions. The south rink is open to the public most days of the week for two-hour increments in the afternoon or evenings. Times are subject to change, though, so be sure to check the public skating schedule beforehand. Each admission includes skate rentals so that any non-bladed drifter can re-create the ice-skating scene from The Deer Hunter at a moment's notice.
Acclimating oneself to ice skates ensures that one will never be without a mode of transportation during the next Ice Age, when both SUVs and donkey carts will be extinct. This Groupon can only be used in one visit, so be certain to bring along a loved one or friend to spot you when attempting camel spins, axel jumps, and leaps through flaming hula hoops.
Las Vegas Ice Center
Although zambonis have since smoothed their surfaces, the rinks at Las Vegas Ice Center were once scored by the skates of a legend. Wayne Gretzky himself skimmed around the ice during his ninth annual Fantasy Camp in 2011, where he gave his students tips on how to send pucks flying without attaching them to remote-controlled helicopters. The center’s talented instructors continue to follow in Gretzky’s path, nurturing young hockey players during training sessions or honing the double axels and camel spins of young figure skaters. Those not interested in gripping a stick or perfecting their backflip can hit the ice at their leisure and hold a loved one’s hand during open-rink sessions. So that skaters don’t run out of energy or gear, a snack bar waits to warm up stomachs with a cup of cocoa, and a pro shop stocks more than 1,000 hockey sticks, gloves by Bauer, Easton, and Warrior, and figure-skating gear from Riedell, Jackson, and ChloeNoel.