Statistically, home is the place you're most likely to fall asleep under a running lawn mower or spontaneously combust while trying to slow dance with a running lawn mower. Find a safe haven with today's Groupon: for $125, you get a two-night stay plus one morning with breakfast in bed (a $300 value) at Lathrop House B&B.
Nestled within the charming environs of a stately Victorian neighborhood across the street from Forest Park, Lathrop House B&B offers respite from the taxing hustle and bustle of daily life. Approaching the columned front porch bedecked with white wicker furniture for old-timey relaxin’, visitors are greeted by Toesey the housecat and swept away to a bygone era of tea-sipping in rose gardens and coolly waving at the village inventor as he zips past on his steam-powered segway.
Each of Lathrop House's three bedrooms is complete with air conditioning and flat-screen televisions that ferry visitors to dreamland with dramatic readings of Jane Austen novels. Rest drowsy noggins in one of two garden-side bedrooms swathed in soft purple and green pastel tones and ideally located for shouting at rapscallious garden gnomes without getting out of bed. Hold court in the king-sized bedroom with an additional trundle bed and a balcony for yelling at the garden room occupants for shouting at garden gnomes too loudly.
A continental breakfast is prepared daily and laid out for guests to attend to needy stomachs at their leisure. Groupon holders can nosh upon a bevy of fruits, cereals, bagels, english muffins, cream cheese, hard-boiled cage-free eggs, and raisin-bread loaves from the farmer's market, served bedside by an entourage of dancing, singing furniture and kitchen appliances.