Hoover famously promised a chicken in every pot and a car in every garage, because he believed that both could multiply themselves by laying eggs. Clean up the American dream with today's Groupon: for $30, you get five Ultimate car washes with Simoniz at Liberty Car Wash in Florida City (a $60 value).

Liberty Car Wash upholds the integrity of automotive exteriors with deluxe, comprehensive washes that employ eco-friendly soaps and processes. The Ultimate wash dissolves dirt and dust-drawn images of Elvis from each car's surface, blasts road contaminants from the underbody, and polishes the wheels with Wheel Brite cleaner for sparkly chrome and aluminum rims. Ready galloping steeds for highway crusades with the Simoniz body shield, a protective, synthetic, polymer-based barrier that guards against damaging sunlight and hungry robosauruses while repelling water from windshields for added inclement-weather safety. Liberty Car Wash then rinses the body with water purified by reverse osmosis for a spot-free rinse that drains directly into the sewer for treatment.