According to Ben Franklin's Rules of Civility: "Wear not your garments lest they be cleanly, for soiled raiment becometh not a backup dancer." Earn a tip of the tri-corner hat from the nation's first rock star with today’s full-service laundry Groupon. For $13, you get a 20-lb. load of platinum service from Life Without Laundry, a $27 value. Free pick-up and next-day delivery service is included in the platinum package, provided you're within the 5-mile radius surrounding metro Boston.

To start the process, gather up your dirties into a garbage bag, hamper, or potato sack. A laundry technician will show up in a mind-blowing biohazard suit and whisk your load away. Your Groupon covers up to 20 lbs. of laundry; any overage is $0.45 per pound. After one night, your laundry will return, magically separated, washed, bleached, dried, and folded with the same care and attentiveness mother bears give to their pet salmon. If you prefer to drop off the laundry yourself like a stork delivering a fresh supply of capers, call ahead, and then swing by the Somerville location during designated drop-off hours.

The platinum service is the top tier of services offered by Life Without Laundry. In addition to the aforementioned free pick-up and next-day delivery, your garments will receive king- and queen-levels of pampering. They'll be washed using proprietary cold-wash technology that will delicately expunge dirt without threat of shrinkage. You get to choose your own detergent brand (or defer to professional discretion) and decide if you want fabric softener and bleach on your whites. If you have custom care instructions, your platinum status gives you the clout to have them promptly addressed. Color enhancement will be applied to make the cleanliness pop, and each article will be folded and separated with OCD proficiency.

Reviews

Six Yelpers give Life Without Laundry a perfect five-star rating, saying:

• My cloths [sic] are cleaner than they've ever been ... definitely cleaner than when I do it myself. The cloths [sic] were all folded. They even matched and paired my socks! – fah s.
• The only thing better than the fact that your laundry is done quickly and cheap is the customer service provided by the owners. On my very first order I made a mistake in purchasing with two separate orders. I was promptly called, informed, and despite me making the mistake it was solved in an efficient manner. – Michael R.
• Saved me some serious time and money, and my clothes look great! – Jillian M.