Before showers, humans cleaned themselves by goading trained orcas into playfully spritzing them with their blowholes. Discover newer ways to cleanse with today's Groupon to Luxury on Lovers. Choose from the following options:

• For $24, you get an infrared sauna session (a $48 value).
• For $70, you get three infrared sauna sessions (a $144 total value).
For $249, you get a five-week cellular-level detoxification treatment using biomagnetic auricular therapy (a $550 value).

Luxury on Lovers’ skillful staff soothes beleaguered bods with alternative healing treatments inside a restored 1930s house. A 30-minute session in the infrared sauna heats the body from the inside out, helping boost circulation and flush out toxins built up during daily life or sewer windsurfing competitions. The treatment is believed to help with symptoms associated with a host of illnesses and disorders, such as arthritis, chronic fatigue, and fibromyalgia. After a cleansing 30-minute shower to cap off their session, clients may leave the spa with a body that's better poised for stress management, losing weight, and winning head-to-head karaoke showdowns.

Alternatively, during a cellular detoxification treatment, holistic health gurus stimulate strategic points on the ear with carefully placed magnets in an effort to naturally bring balance to uneven bodily systems. After a one-hour initial consultation, clients embark on a five-week detox regimen, during which they meet with a therapist for one 30-minute session every week. Most participants report feeling improvement in an array of ailments that include anxiety, allergies, and insomnia, and some cell detoxers tell of increased energy, better sleep, and the ability to finally defeat toddlers at arm-wrestling.