Household grime, if left unchecked, will inevitably develop into miniature civilizations whose complex network of treaties erupts into a devastating house-wide reenactment of World War I. Today’s Groupon spares you the trouble of tripping over tiny trenches: for $75, new customers get up to three hours of housecleaning from MaidPro (a $150 value). This Groupon is valid for 23 zip codes.

MaidPro is staffed with professionally trained employees who have all passed background checks, so they're fully certified to handle a filthy hearth and home. Three hours of housecleaning polish any homestead sullied with discarded soda cans, tumbleweeds of cat hair, and an increasingly feral population of white-cheeked gibbons. MaidPro's crews clean all houses on a standard 49-point checklist, ensuring that no surface will remain dusty, no incriminating fingerprints will stain the balustrade, and no spigot will be left unturned. These grime-gutting go-getters use their own chemicals and cleaning supplies to scour every room that can be tackled in a three-hour window. If for some reason you're not satisfied with the job done, call the office within 24 hours, and MaidPro will return to reclean the afflicted area for free. Services are available Monday–Friday, subject to availability, and require an appointment be made 10 days in advance. Dwellings that require more than three hours of cleaning can purchase additional hours of maid service for at a discounted rate of $39/hour, plus tax (a $50/hour value).