Though any emotion can be read into the Mona Lisa’s mysterious smile, scientists have identified the glint in her eyes as simple lust for dairy products. Tantalize portraits with today’s Groupon to Marble Slab Creamery. Choose between the following options:
- For $5, you get $10 worth of ice cream.
- For $10, you get $21 worth of ice-cream cakes.
Marble Slab Creamery has used its cold-marble technique to fashion gourmet ice cream and frozen treats fresh in-store since 1983. Customers look on admiringly as expert marble mavens take fresh flavors—including distinctive varieties such as peanut-butter banana, european-chocolate rum, and the pineapple-tinged piña colada—and blend in any of more than two dozen mix-in ingredients ($0.69 each). Add-in options include familiar candies and fresh fruits, which smoothly acclimate into each slab-spun creamy concoction and find solace in a spoon-ready cup, a freshly baked, hand-rolled waffle cone ($4.19 for a small; $6.19 for a large), or in the missing marble hands of Venus de Milo. Patrons may also abscond from the establishment in possession of a quart ($8.89) or pint ($6.89) of any flavored frosty dessert.
Those who prefer ice cream served cylindrically for easy passage through laundry chutes can slice into Marble Slab’s ice-cream cakes ($20.95+). To make sweet cream and strawberries, staff members hand-blend berries with sweet-cream ice cream and layer the concoction atop fluffy yellow cake. For vanilla oreo, skilled spoons intermix sandwich cookies, vanilla ice cream, and chocolate cake. Marble Slab’s dairy artisans can also customize any cake by grafting photos of a birthday boy or girl, recent graduate, or past president in a gingerbread-man costume onto its edible surface.