What You'll Get
A perfectly white smile determines how others perceive you by shining brightly enough to blind them to your second head and compound eyes. Let dazzling teeth disguise the effects of your mad-science hobby with today’s Groupon: for $99, you get an oral-cancer screening, a new-patient oral exam, cleaning, x-rays, and a take-home teeth-whitening kit with Dr. Shannon McGrane at GentleCare Dental Center (a $798 value), located on DeBarr Road.
GentleCare Dental Center's skillful staff wields up-to-date technology to attentively treat patients' teeth. During an oral-cancer screening, healthy tissues fluoresce under a Velscope's blue-spectrum light, singling out suspiciously dim areas of skin for schoolyard mockery from healthier cells (a $20 value). GentleCare's molar menders will follow up with a thorough new patient oral exam (a $117 value) and cleaning (a $126 value) and a barrage of x-rays that reveal cavities and endow the patient with super-heroic hot-dog eating powers (an $85 value). Finally, patients can carry on the noble plaque-fighting work of their benefactors with a take-home teeth-whitening kit that can spruce up stained chompers or polish up a porcelain bust of Millard Fillmore (a $450 value).
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Dec 3, 2011. Amount paid never expires. Limit 1 per person, may buy 2 additional as gifts. Valid with Dr. Shannon McGrane only. By appointment only. New clients only. Not valid with other offers. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.