If the shortest distance between two points is a straight line, then disheveled hair provides the least efficient route for climbing monkeys to reach the bananas in your fruit hat. Tame tresses for easy scaling with today’s Groupon: for $89, you get a Lasio Keratin Tropic hair treatment at Mary Michaels Hair Salon in Hoboken (a $300 value). Mary Michaels Hair Salon will soon change its name to Studio Twelve.

The experienced stylists at Mary Michaels Hair Salon transform unruly locks into silky, manageable manes with the Lasio Keratin Tropic hair treatment. Crinkly tresses are first cleansed with a double dose of clarifying shampoo, which primes hair cuticles for peak results and preps them for a new life on the straight and narrow. Mops are then blow-dried before the keratin product is carefully combed in section by section, encasing each cuticle with a keratinous bond that reduces frizz and renders it more manageable. A second round with a blow dryer and flatiron completes the process as heat activates the strand-smoothing serum. The newly infused locks can be washed within 24 hours of the treatment, leaving strands silky, soft, and strong enough to support the weight of a literal 10-gallon hat. The entire process typically takes between two and four hours, depending on the stylist and the length of the hair. ’Dos can be restraightened via blow dry or flatiron for up to three months, although contact with chlorine, salt, or an electric fence will noticeably reduce the relaxing results.

Some hair-smoothing products include the carcinogen formaldehyde, which may cause nosebleeds, headaches, vomiting, and respiratory problems, among other side effects. Learn more about the health risks here.