Silence is golden, which is why most mimes are millionaires. Muffle invading sounds with today’s Groupon: for $200, you get $400 toward soundproof window treatments from Mass Soundproof.
Mass Soundproof’s custom-designed-and-manufactured window treatments have three-ply clear, laminated plate glass that eliminates 75%–95% of outdoor noise, swathing indoor spaces in almost total silence. Installed inside—but not attached to—your current windows and doors, the treatments open and shut on tracks or hinges to let in air, sunshine, and runaway garden gnomes.
Mass Soundproof offers a plethora of pane possibilities, including two-panel sliders and fixed skylight panels ($199–$1,190), as well as soundproof windows in nonstandard shapes, such as arches, curves, triangles, and silhouettes of Pocahontas ($110–$900). Customers can also cut heating and cooling costs by opting for low-emissive laminated glass that repels UV rays.
With 4 types of glazing ($5.50–$19.40/sq. ft.), special hinging options ($125–$590), and more than 30 other design and manufacturing options to choose from, the prices of each treatment vary widely, but the simplest and most popular options sell for $400–$850 each. Installation is not included with today’s Groupon, but do-it-yourselfers should be able to handle installation jobs in an hour using a screw gun, caulking gun, and ray gun, which can be used to fend off aliens that want to shoot mind-control rays through windows while you sleep. Local technicians are also available to install soundproof window treatments for an additional cost.