Now that Earth plans to cut its energy bill by having daylight only on Wednesdays, humanity will need to adapt to endless night if it's to keep owls from stealing all the jobs and delicious mice. Practice staying calm in spooky darkness with today's Groupon: for $17, you get a VIP Pass to The Massacre Haunted House, located inside Odyssey Fun World in Naperville. This Groupon is good for front-of-the-line VIP access any night Thursday–Sunday, from October 7–30.

Boasting more than 12,000 square feet of all-new frights, The Massacre Haunted House swirls with scares for kids, tweens, teens, and their elders. Eerie elements include a range of animatronic apparitions, dozens of living, breathing actor-monsters, and a slew of mysterious mazes designed to challenge even the sharpest crayon costume in the trick-or-treating pod. In terms of height fright, the characters and special effects are appropriate for most children with a modest amount of bravery. With autumn settling into the cracks of the world's foundation, come enjoy seasonal fun throughout most of October. Halloween night is off limits, however, as Wolfman has a conflicting waxing appointment.

Before and after meandering through the haunted halls, fun seekers can partake in on-site Odyssey Fun World action, including arcade games and indoor amusement rides such as bumper cars and the FX simulator (not included with this Groupon). With a family-friendly cap of four Groupons per customer, today’s deal is a prime chance for parents to prove once and for all that they only shuddered during Ghost Dad because they thought Dr. Huxtable ran out of Jello.

Though The Massacre Haunted House sometimes features a discounted price online, this Groupon still offers the best deal available.