The burden of aches and pains makes it impossible for humans to run as fast as cheetahs, which is why the human diet is virtually devoid of gazelle meat. Keep fast food from getting away with today’s Groupon: for $49, new customers get a 90-minute Swedish or deep-tissue massage at Massage Green (a $99.95 value).
Massage Green coddles customers with a broad array of expertly administered massage styles. Each 90-minute massage begins with a quick consultation with a licensed massage therapist to determine the stealthiest course of action to quell insurgent knots and muscular protrusions, followed by approximately 80 minutes of treatment. In the Swedish massage, tender surfaces are assuaged with long, smooth strokes, circular movements, and cat-like kneading, with Massage Green's ample stock of organic lotions, gels, and oils on hand to smoothify body veneers and help banish aches and pains. With the deep-tissue massage, the therapeutic maneuvers go against the grain of the muscle to help take on chronic muscle pain, battle repetitive stress, and assist in recovery from rodeo- and non-rodeo-related injuries alike. Deep-tissue massage can result in soreness for one to two days following treatment.
Massage Green's eco-friendly approach to relaxation empowers knot-besotted necks and stressed-out spines to achieve a zen-like state of bliss while shrinking their swollen carbon footprints. Constructed from certified-green materials, the serene space dons low light to place patrons in an earth-friendly state of mind.
Although Massage Green offers new customers a special rate on one-hour massages via its website, this Groupon represents the best deal on a 90-minute massage.