Like a talkative coworker or a piece of shoe-level toilet paper, excess weight is notoriously hard to lose. Jettison unwanted jiggle with today's Groupon: for $1,199, you get six Zerona body-slimming laser treatments on any one area from Robert F. Gray, MD, FACS, at MD Laser Spa Cosmetic Surgery & Laser Skin Care Center in Pleasanton (a $2,399 value).
Voted Best Medical Spa by the readers of Pleasanton Weekly, this medically supervised aesthetic center houses a team of specialists who slim bodies during noninvasive Zerona treatments. Before embarking on inch-loss missions, patients undergo an initial consultation where they can voice any concerns or request a meet and greet with notoriously reticent lasers. During actual treatments, low-level beams target swelled fat cells to emulsify their contents, which can then more easily zoom out of the body on lymphatic highways.
Patients recline on comfortable beds for each of their 40-minute treatments, wherein the laser blasts trouble zones anywhere from beneath the breasts to the upper thighs. Because Zerona treatments are completely noninvasive, they require no downtime or Sesame Street band-aids. Like most bottles of milk or cute stories about grandchildren, the treatment series must be completed within two weeks.