What You'll Get
Acupuncture is an ancient practice that loosens up your stagnant qi and gets your life force flowing. It helps your body heal itself, reducing symptoms of allergies, headaches, pain, depression, and black thumbs. Don't let your life force innertube down the lazy river of your qi channels. Stimulate and invigorate your body's natural defenses with today's Groupon: $30 gets you a 60-minute consultation and acupuncture session at Meridian 87: Acupuncture & Chinese Herbal Medicine (a $75 value). Today's Groupon is a unique chance to show curious CPAs and skeptical SWAT teams the benefits of acupuncture.
Don't let your hormones interfere with your health, happiness, relationships, or career—take back control of your body with Monique Wheeler's expertise. Fully licensed and certified, your friendly practitioner can treat what ails you, from anxiety disorders to chronic headaches. Monique specializes in women's health (PMS, irregular cycle, infertility, menopause, postpartum depression, and pregnancy issues) and smoking cessation. A 2001 study shows the usefulness of acupuncture in quitting smoking. Whether you're looking to cut back on your pack-a-day habit, decrease your risk for cancer, or spend your cigarette money on groceries and gold-encrusted rims, Monique's safe and natural treatment can help heal your body's dependence on nicotine.
During your acupuncture session, Monique will assess your ailments and diagnose the perfect treatment. Though you may be squeamish about needles, fear not. Each sterile, stainless steel needle is super fine—up to 30 can fit in a regular hypodermic needle. After your treatment, the needles will be discarded, so you can relax, assured that each needle is clean and unused.
Though most of Monique Wheeler's clients develop life-enriching hobbies with their renewed vitality after each visit, two Yelpers had time to give Meridian 87 five stars:
- ...she's been a miracle for me! For the first time in my life, I no longer need western medication (which was not working) for my allergies... – Michele S.
- Her incredibly compassionate (and not too hippydippy) approach to TCM has helped me feel the best I have in years...She needles way more gently than practitioners I have experienced... – Rachel A.
Like Searching for a Something in a Something Stack
Acupuncture needles are so delicate that they add an additional layer of impossibility to the old notion of finding a needle in a haystack. With needles officially too small to be recovered from mounds of dried grass, what other improbable analogies can we use to complain?
- Like looking for ghost in a sheet factory
- Like looking for your fianceé in IKEA
- Like looking for a vegetarian option at Big Tex’s Steer Nuggetorium
- Like looking for Waldo on an improbably crowded beach full of people who decided to wear very similar striped sweaters to the beach
- Like looking for an honest man in Congress, am I right, folks?
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The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Oct 8, 2010. Amount paid never expires. New clients only. 1 per person. May purchase multiple as gifts. By appointment only. Herbal medicines available for additional cost. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.