Household grime, if left unchecked, will inevitably develop into miniature civilizations whose complex network of treaties erupts into a devastating house-wide reenactment of World War I. Today’s Groupon spares you the trouble of tripping over tiny trenches: for $55, you get three rooms or 90 minutes, whichever comes first, of cleaning from Merry Maids of St. Catharines (a $120 value). This Groupon is good for households located anywhere from Fort Erie to Grimsby, Ontario.
Merry Maids' hyperefficient duos of dusters clean more than 300,000 residences each month in North America. Unleashed on the interior wilderness of an unkempt abode, the Merry Maids' voracious vacuums hunt down and devour dust dodos, paper-scrap porcupines, and other clutter-causing prey. Then, armed with nuclear-powered sponges and scum-seeking lasers, the militant maids scour countertops and tile grout with the single-minded meticulousness of a pilot scraping Dubble Bubble off his plane's instrument panel. No floor, whether wood, linoleum, marble, granite, or lentil, is too much for these smiling scourers, who have seen and conquered it all before.