Today's side deal gets you a chance to see some the greatest guitar wailing in the Western hemisphere—sans guitar. For $8, you get a ticket to see the Chicago regional competition of The US Air Guitar Championships at the Metro, a $15 value. The doors open for this battle of the non-bands at 8 p.m. on Thursday, April 15. You must be 18 or older and show your valid state or federal identification and stokedness at the door.

The neon spandex stretches snugly over the suspiciously large bulges of spirit guitar warriors like Shreddy Mercury, Big Rig, and Ms. Bettie B. Goodie. The atmosphere of barely contained kitschtacular anarchy not only blasts out your unnecessary brain but now and then severs a minor digit of a contestant. Nab today's side deal to learn that the true spirit of rock lies not within the instrument, but in a big, loving heart.