Robots are good for many things, including freaking out dogs and launching war on mankind, but they often lack the gentleness of a human touch. Rather than having bitter robots washing your car at a gas station, this deal gets your ride the luxurious hand washing it deserves at Miami Auto Spa in Brickell. For $6, you get one exterior hand wash for your car (a $12 value), mid-size vehicle (a $14 value), or large SUV (a $17 value)—your Groupon is good for any size of vehicle but does not include tax and gratuity. Miami Auto Spa's garage doors are open seven days a week, but if you redeem Sunday through Thursday, you'll score a free heavy bug-removal service (a $5 value) as an added bonus for being a weekday/Sunday warrior, and is guaranteed to work much more effectively than your previous bug removal tool: screaming at them, and then crying.
Each car rebuffing starts with a full-service hand wash, when skilled sparkling gurus examine every inch of your vehicle's hull for filthy smudges and road backwash. Great care is taken to eliminate any drag-creating buildup that might slow down your land-train and inhibit it from making jumps through time. You'll know your car is finished when you look into the fully buffed exterior and see a reflection of your younger self, just like a grown up Peter Pan imagining what his life would have been like had he stayed in the Neverland.
The cleansing isn't limited to your car's metal and glass portions, it continues with the rubber. Your tires will get a fanciful shining capable of awakening treads and proving the reflective properties of black holes. A complimentary air freshener will be waiting for your return as the sweet-smelling cherry on top. If you qualify for the bonus heavy bug removal service, you can say goodbye to zombie insect hitchhikers, prehistoric mosquitoes, and other flying things that are all up in your grill.
Pick up a few Groupons for gifts to stuff a stocking/inbox with the gift of a remastered car. Sneakily take a spouse's vehicle for a holiday cleaning, then apologize profusely to the police after it's reported as stolen; stop on your way home at the giant bow outlet store, then place one atop their sleigh; claim it's a brand new car that somehow has the same mileage and unfortunate collection of CDs. Your Groupon is good for six months, so you could even use it as an opportunity to take spring cleaning on the road.
- Took my Black Benz there after a friend referred me. UNREAL the quality of work they do! I can't say enough of how great they were and the showroom and waiting areas are beautiful. – dan t., Insider Pages
- Best place we have found so far. Their detailing is top notch. Never saw so many cars come out looking so great when I sit there. – H, Google
- I own a Black Car and they truly made it look better than new! – Nick, Google
Now That’s a Hand Wash
To be clear, the “hand wash” you receive from Miami Auto Spa will be a washing of your car by hand, not a washing of your actual hands by a professional. For that, you’ll have to go to Birfday’s Movie Star Hand-Wash just a few blocks away. What makes it so luxurious to have your hands professionally washed at Birfday’s?
- Six minutes of uninterrupted forehead-contact with every wash.
- Finally get off that embarrassing fake phone number from the Mary-Kate Olsen look-alike.
- Wax figure of George Clooney seated next to you gives your hand-washing that “Wow! I’m getting my hands washed next to George Clooney!” feel.
- Guaranteed to leave with as many or more fingernails than you arrived with.
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Miami Auto Spa
Whether by suds, professional polish, leather conditioners, or tinted window film, the technicians at Miami Auto Spa keep cars looking sharp enough to make a stop sign blush. All washes are performed by hand. Details, with the help of Wolfgang sealants, Klasse polishes, and shampoos, reach every crevice of the car and transform it into a shiny, new-looking ride. Cars don’t need to be dirty to benefit here, though. Window tinting gives the car a sleek look and the driver protection and privacy, and rim repairs further add to the car’s overall aesthetic.