What You'll Get
If your eyes are the windows to your soul, your teeth are the white picket fence that protects the soul from windpipe-sized pieces of taffy. Strengthen your defenses against attacks on the soul with today's Groupon for clean and healthy teeth. For $49, you get a triad of in-depth dental services from the master tooth wizards at Miami Dental Sedation Spa, a $262 total value. You’ll receive an expert examination ($61), exceptional tooth expurgation ($94), and exacting x-ray ($107). The experience will leave you with such pearly whites that former lovers may begin beaming you exrays of their own, in the form of romantic limericks discreetly tucked in lunchboxes and shirt collars.
Dr. Luis A. Sanchez, DMD and Dr. Gabriel A. Vidal, DMD are the main men behind your oral overhaul. Your appointment begins with an intensive examination into the current state of your chompers. An all-important gum examination and screenings for oral cancer and TMJ are among the tests performed during the thorough preliminary assessment. There is also a portion involving an intraoral camera that relays images to a monitor, giving you a dentist’s eye view of your teeth.
The included x-ray can save you from pain—both physical and financial—down the road. Especially important for those who have gone years without being a dentist, this carefully calibrated electromagnetic journey to the center of your teeth can reveal more than meets the eye. Once the dentist dons his or her x-ray specs, tartar build-up as well as the warning signs for gingivitis and a potentially abscessed tooth become visible when your jaw steps into the finely tuned spotlight. They only use the most advanced and patient-friendly system that reduces patient radiation by 90%. Upon completion, your teeth will be primed for a meticulous scrubbing.
To make your cleaning as comfortable as possible, heated massage chairs and headsets with your choice of music are available. Soothe your mind with some relaxing classical music, or inexplicably choose the Sounds of Dentistry Vol II. Each tooth receives the gentle attentive care of the hygienist’s magical brush. When it’s all over, you’ll be rewarded with a warm scented towel to complete your comforting care at Miami Dental Sedation Spa. The serene surroundings takes the stress out of oral care guaranteeing patients leave with a smile fit to win hearts and blind the sun.
Patients are too busy looking at their pearly whites to write reviews, but Miami Dental Sedation Spa provided us with the following testimonials:
- I love you guys. I feel at home. Thanks for everything you do for me Dr Sanchez. I recommend you o all my friends and family. See you soon." – Diego P.
- The staff was absolutely wonderful and professional. It was definitely a great experience and I have already told friends and family about my experience. – Vicbel H.
- we all know that no one like [sic] to go to the dentist. but it doesn't get better than this – Ellen N.
The Tooth is Out There
Let’s face it: Our modern world is so rife with paranormal activity that sometimes it’s difficult to know where to begin. Fortunately, you can never go wrong with dental hygiene. Strong, clean, and healthy teeth can serve as your own first line of defense against the specters that plague mankind. It certainly helped in these unverified, but almost certainly true, paranormal encounters:
1971: Gene Dippers of Havenshaw, Connecticut, was driving home from a television-watching party when his car battery suddenly died. Through the windshield, he perceived a pair of red, glowing Mothman-like eyes, possibly belonging to a Mothman or Mothmanesque entity. The eyes grew brighter as the Mothman drew closer to his vehicle, and thinking quickly, Gene flashed his sparkling, well-maintained smile, blinding the likely Mothman’s compound eyes and sending it screaming into the night sky like a clumsy child’s untied balloon.
1981: Denise Madison of Christmas, Kentucky, was staying late at her job discerning the handwriting on undeliverable mail, magnifying glass in hand, when one package began to violently shake: someone had finally tried to mail a poltergeist. As the translucent specter reportedly burst from its cardboard cage, Denise retained her composure, thanks to having spent many childhood summers at Ghost Camp. She knew to hold her magnifying glass up to her teeth and let the light reflecting off her smile focus into an ectoplasm-stiffening beam of white-hot laser. The poltergeist disappeared in a puff, and Madison got on with the business of staying two extra hours to clean in silence.
2002: Emmett Pilger of Herschel, Michigan, made the conscious decision to continue biting into a carrot that was screaming in the voice of his recently deceased father.
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The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Jun 8, 2010. Amount paid never expires. New clients only. By appointment only. 24-hr cancellation policy or Groupon is invalid. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.