Proof that we descended from computers is clearly seen in our ability to contract viruses and our uncontrollable urge to physically shut down in the middle of writing a term paper. Celebrate our digital origins with today’s Groupon to Microkool Computers, valid at the locations on Richmond Street and Springbank Drive in London. Choose between the following options:

• For $18, you get a virus-removal service (a $59.99 value).
• For $25, you get a complete computer tune-up package (a $155.96 total value) that includes:
  • System optimization (a $29.99 value)
  • Complete system diagnostics (a $34.99 value)
  • Operating-system reinstallation (a $69.99 value)
  • Internal cleaning (a $19.99 value)

Dedicated to maintaining the health of all manner of mainframes, Microkool Computers’ ensemble of technicians employs their substantial digital savvy to perform meticulous repair and maintenance services. Expert fixers revive hard drives sluggish from intruding viruses and late-night robot-jam-band concerts by extracting the pernicious bugs during a virus-removal service. Freed from the harmful clutches of digital contagions, the computer’s security, functionality, and performance regain their full computing capabilities. A complete computer tune-up package ensures that the interiors of desk dwellers remain shipshape, starting with a system optimization that includes the installation of crucial updates, a cleanup of temporary files, and startup-speed optimization. Once owners have backed up their important data, one of Microkool’s HAL 9000 whisperers reinstalls the operating system and performs a full system diagnostic in order to enhance computer efficiency and operational speed. To conclude the sprucing up of computer endoskeletons, techs expunge dust from fans and heat sinks to prevent overheating and keep systems cool and free of embarrassing perspiration.