Yellow teeth indicate an addiction to smoking cigarettes, drinking coffee, or swishing with butter. Undo unsightly dairy habits with today’s Groupon: for $59, you get a dental package at Mill Plain Dental Center in Vancouver, Washington (a $292 total value). The package includes:
- A comprehensive dental exam (a $74 value)
- A full set of dental x-rays (a $119 value)
- A take-home teeth-whitening treatment (a $99 value)
Dr. Mike Jensen and his staff of dedicated tooth tamers spruce up smiles and enhance oral health with delicately administered general and cosmetic dental care. During each dental exam, Dr. Jensen investigates symptoms of dental disrepair, such as plaque, decay, gum disease, or abandoned horse trailers. An x-ray device takes orthodontic analyses to a supersensory level of perception, providing a window into subsurface phenomena and any warning signs invisible to the human eye.
Once teeth have been dutifully vetted, Dr. Jensen casts his patients’ porcelain parabolas into a personalized mouthpiece for use in a take-home teeth-whitening kit. From the comfort of their home, office, or Cold War–era bomb shelter, patrons fill their ergonomic mouthpiece with a whitening gel, which penetrates into enamel and gently eradicates stains. Clients can wear the whitening tray for several hours each day and should expect to see visible, lustrous results in two to three weeks.