Hundreds of years ago, typical village tooth doctors spent their time putting curses on cavities, massing gums with saps from jungle trees, and looking gift horses in the mouth. Celebrate the advancements of modern dentistry with today's Groupon to Mint Dental on Peoria Avenue. Choose between the following options:

• For $59, you get an exam, x-rays, and cleaning (a $220 value).
• For $189, you get an exam, x-rays, cleaning, and in-office whitening (a $570 value).

Mint Dental cares for the health and happiness of mouths as eco-consciously as possible—it is a mercury-free office, and uses digital x-rays, which use much less radiation than traditional procedures and significantly reduce the risk of giving people superpowers. Within this earth-friendly edifice, Oklahoma College of Dentistry grads Jaime Ariana and Lauren Avery will probe the toothy moonscape of your mouth, zapping tartar and depleting plaque deposits. With a full exam and mugshot of the molars, the good doctors provide patients with the tools to keep cavities from forming. The in-office whitening removes pesky soy-sauce stains so sufficiently that it requires no homework for your teeth, leaving patients with a smile so bright, it has to wear shades. Prescription mouth sunglasses are not included with this Groupon.