In the Old West, cowboys rode into town to have a glass of whiskey at the town saloon, heckle the thieves in the stockades, and exfoliate their rugged mugs with the sheriff's spurs. Saddle up for modern shaping up with today's Groupon: for $25, you get $50 worth of services at Miracle Salon & Spa in Temperance, Michigan.

Shades of lavender greet guests upon entry into the salon, where walls are bathed in purple's softer manifestation and cozy black salon chairs beckon to bottoms for their seated attention. In the cozy confines, old hair hues can be replaced during a color treatment ($40 and up), whereas a shampoo and blow dry purifies the head's plush plantation with suds and mechanical wind ($17 and up). Gents can pamper their paws with a 60-minute men's foot-soak, which tidies up toe chapeaus, clears away calluses, and kneads five-toed foot loaves with a relaxing massage ($40). Excessively light skin can elope with the sun's half-sibling by getting a spray tan from a technician ($20 per visit), and muscles frozen by the gripping fear of fantasy football failure can be tenderized during a 30-minute relaxation massage, which leverages Swedish techniques to increase circulation, appetite, and the GDP ($35).

Miracle Salon & Spa populates its inner chambers with a talented staff whose hands are trained to transform exteriors with skillful touches. Examine yourself carefully for any recent beauty damage before heading into Miracle Salon & Spa to be groomed back to your original levels of eye-popping, mirror-shattering fairness.