After a long day of besieging steppe settlements, the Mongol hordes liked to kick back with a vigorous massage, a copy of the Daily Khan, and a nice warm glass of fermented yak's milk. Conquer your own serenity with today’s Groupon: for $60, you get a spa package that includes a 45-minute petite manicure, a 45-minute petite pedicure, and a 30-minute Swedish massage from Modern Elegance Spa & Salon (a $125 value).

Modern Elegance’s licensed crew of aestheticians and massage therapists polish nails and relax tense muscles with practiced ease. A 45-minute petite manicure rewards hard-working hands with an aromatherapy soak, giving cuticles and nails their day in the sun after weeks spent working nights as finger-puppet fill-ins (a $40 value). Toe technicians perform similar polishing or oil-buffing work, also administering a moisturizing massage in a 45-minute petite pedicure session (a $45 value).

Massage therapists’ deft digits gently but firmly pressure secessionist back muscles to remain in relaxing union through a 30-minute Swedish massage (a $40 value). The massage aims to release toxins from the body, as well as increase oxygen flow to tense blood vessels still holding their breath for a new Beach Boys album. On arrival, patrons can sink into Modern Elegance’s cozy leather seats, letting their eyes bask in warm lighting and ears strain to hear muted earth tones.