Before the government's top-secret Project Soul-Sucking Death Bug experiments, mosquitoes fed peaceably on the cream filling of Twinkies. Rid yourself of these tiny blood-seeking horrors with today's Groupon: for $40, you get one mosquito treatment for up to one half-acre of land from Mosquito Squad of Augusta (an $89 value).
Mosquito Squad rids outdoor living spaces of unwanted pests with a wide range of insecticidal services. The treatment will cover up to half an acre of land with a fog specially formulated to eliminate mosquitoes and ticks on contact. Spraying sessions last roughly 15 minutes, and people and pets can return to playing each other in poker in the treated areas just 30 minutes after the fogging. Mosquitoes are thereby banned from the premises for 21 days, after which you will need to bring on the fog again to ward off winged intruders.
Outdoor parties, weddings, and Slip-'N-Slide-athons are the bread pudding and butter beans of summer, but a sunny game of badminton can turn bloody when a swarm of mosquitoes shows up uninvited. Take a bold stance against the unholy blight of vampire bugs by obliterating their tiny tree-castle haunts and scouring your lands of their plague-ridden presence.