Before the government's top-secret Deathbug experiments, mosquitoes fed peaceably on the cream filling of Twinkies. Rid yourself of these blood-seeking horrors with today's Groupon to Mosquito Squad of Western Suburbs. Mosquito Squad serves areas of Massachusetts east of Interstate 495. Choose between the following options:
- For $49, you get an anti-mosquito treatment for up to one half acre of land (a $125 value).
- For $69, you get an anti-mosquito treatment for up to one acre of land (a $135 value).
Mosquito Squad uses a specially formulated fog to kill adult mosquitoes on contact, as well as to kill mosquitoes that land on greenery afterward. Spraying sessions last roughly 15 minutes, and people and pets can return to the treated areas just 30 minutes after the fogging—which effectively reduces the mosquito population in that area by about 80%–90%. Mosquitoes are thereby banned from the premises for 21 days, after which you will need to bring on the fog again should you wish to remain unbitten.
Alternatively, choose an all-natural solution that repels insects by offending their delicate scent palates. From this treatment, humans detect a mild odor that fades after two hours but can be purchased as a bottled fragrance by those who miss it. The synthetic-free repellent is biodegradable and lasts 14 days.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, mosquitoes are vectors for many different diseases worldwide, including malaria. Get today's Groupon and take a bold stance against the unholy blight of vampire bugs, obliterating their tiny tree-castle haunts and ridding your lands of their plague-ridden presence. After the swarm of winged biters clears, you can enjoy a holiday barbecue, a pickup game of flag football, or a backyard nudist convention in peace.