Like a garage wallpapered in magnets, tinted windows keep a car’s thoughts impenetrable to the government’s listening devices. Protect an auto’s ruminations with today's Groupon: for $140, you get tinting for five windows (a $280 value) from Mr. Tint, redeemable at the Escondido and Vista locations.

The sun-warriors at Mr. Tint equip two- and four-door cars with FormulaOne window-tinting products, which are backed by a national lifetime warranty. Shade auto-eyes with FormulaOne Comfort Series film, which offers 99.9% UV protection, up to 79% heat rejection, and 100% fewer arrests for allowing a dog to drive. The film is composed of a unique metal alloy bonded to a dyed layer that lessens strain on air-conditioning systems and protects seats, safety belts, and child seat restraints from the sun's hostile glare. Vehicular portholes may be sheathed in any shade from the Comfort Series line, and owners can mix and match shades according to the car's wardrobe caprices.

Mr. Tint averages two hours per car for the procedure, and windows take 2–3 weeks in the summer and up to 4 in the winter to dry, depending on heat, humidity, and the car’s astrological sign. It is recommended that windows not be rolled down for two days following installation.