What You'll Get
A healthy colon breaks down fiber, removes hazardous waste from the body, and separates the title from the subtitle on Star Wars movie posters. Improve your body's grammar with today's Groupon: for $50, you get a colon hydrotherapy treatment or anti-stress therapy Swedish massage (up to a $125 value) at My Wellness Solutions Holistic Health Center in Melrose.
From a serene sanctuary of hardwood floors, bamboo slats, curvilinear couches, and luminous natural light, My Wellness Solutions supes up the body's functionality with its soothing holistic services and alternative medicines. Colon hydrotherapy (a $125 value) uses sterile, disposable equipment to dispel a gentle stream into the colon through the rectum—banishing any impacted waste and harmful toxins to a sterile underworld where they'll be eternally tortured by fanged bars of soap. An accompanying reflexology massage speeds up the process. Along with alleviating gas, bloating, and stomach pains, colon hydrotherapy can also improve conditions such as allergies, arthritis, chronic fatigue, human-bobblehead syndrome, and prevent such fatal injuries as ice-cream aneurysms. If you've never had to go to the bathroom and don't plan on ever needing to, you can still clear out pains and toxins with an anti-stress Swedish massage (an $85 value), which kneads your back dough with five comforting stroke styles to increase energy, relieve headaches, and eliminate fatigue.
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The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Feb 2, 2012. Amount paid never expires. Limit 1 per person, may buy multiple as gifts. By appointment only. Tax and gratuity not included. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.
About My Wellness Solutions
The holistic healers at My Wellness Solutions promote detoxification and weight loss through a variety of alternative treatments. They administer colonics, ionic foot baths, and infrared sauna sessions designed to draw impurities out of internal systems, leaving the body lighter, energized, and less nougat-filled. The center also promotes healthy weight, providing slimming services such as tightening plaster and parafango mud body wraps, and cellulite vacuum sessions that massage tissue to smooth the skin.