To make un-fine wine, simply place grapes beneath a silk pillow, repeatedly mash your head against it, and then wring the pillowcase into a nearby mouth. Taste traditionally produced fine wines with today’s Groupon: for $40, you get $85 worth of wine from MyWinesDirect.com. Shipping and handling are free, with orders usually arriving within three to six business days. You must redeem the entire value of this Groupon in a single order; it can also be applied toward tax.

MyWinesDirect's expert research and careful wine-selection process is the antidote to your snakebite of guesswork and fretting consternation. Start your journey down the wine bottle with the popular tasting pack of member favorites ($79.95), a six-strong squad of varied red and white vintages—a pinot noir, a sauvignon blanc, a syrah, a chardonnay, a cabernet sauvignon, and a Côtes du Rhône—from Argentina, Australia, France, and California. Or nab one of the intro packs, such as the mixed tasting pack ($79.95), a fellowship of light, cool, adult grape juices made for patios and languid evenings lounging on the freeway overpass. Clients can also shop by reds or whites, or delve into clink-worthy cliques like the rib-complementing barbecue bests ($89.95) or the exchange-student-elating foreign finds ($94.95). Naturally, MyWinesDirect's full catalog of wines is also available by the bottle.

Combining both the preference of its customers in blind taste tests and the tongue deliberation of its experts, MyWinesDirect ensures quality with each sip. Many of its wines are produced on small, family estates, hardly known outside their quaint lost valleys of time filled with uncounted herds of grapes and dinosaurs. Place your order, settle into your drinking chair, and await the arrival of your Bacchus-approved bundle of libations from MyWinesDirect.

You must be 21 years of age or older to order. You can redeem your Groupon starting July 23. MyWinesDirect.com ships to 36 states, with respective state sales taxes applying.