Wine was once such an expensive commodity that the rich conspicuously spilled it on their golden capes instead of wasting it invisibly in their stomachs. Afford enough wine to braggadociously spill it with today's Groupon: for $40, you get $85 worth of wine from MyWinesDirect.com, which can be used to purchase wine in increments of six only. Shipping and handling are free, with orders usually arriving within three to six business days. You must redeem the entire value of this Groupon in a single order; it can also be applied toward tax.
MyWinesDirect's expert research and careful wine-selection process is the antidote to your snakebite of guesswork and fretting consternation. Start your journey down the wine bottle with the popular tasting pack of member favorites ($79.95), a six-strong squad of four reds and two white wines. Or nab one of the intro packs, such as the mixed tasting pack ($79.95), a fellowship of six light, cool, adult grape juices made for patios and languid evenings lounging on the freeway overpass. Clients can also shop by reds or whites to develop their own mix of wines, or delve into clink-worthy cliques of sextets like the foliage-complimenting fall favorites ($84.95) or the gloat-able wines to impress ($84.95). Naturally, MyWinesDirect's full catalog of wines is also available by the bottle so customers can create customized packs.
Combining both the preference of its customers in blind taste tests and the tongue deliberation of its experts, MyWinesDirect ensures quality with each sip. Many of its wines are produced on small, family estates, hardly known outside their quaint lost valleys of time filled with uncounted herds of grapes and dinosaurs. Place your order, settle into your drinking chair, and await the arrival of your Bacchus-approved bundle of libations from MyWinesDirect.