Without the loosening effects of massage, shoulders would stiffen into immobility and fall victim to freeloading parrots and the burden of carrying Earth's heavyset brother, Girth. Pamper your perches with today's Groupon to Nadis Massage Studio in Riverdale. Choose between the following options:
- For $29, you get a 60-minute relax and rejuvenate massage (a $65 value).
- For $39, you get a 90-minute relax and rejuvenate massage (a $100 value).
The healing hands behind Nadis Massage Studio attenuate subdermal tension with calming massage services. During a relax and rejuvenate massage, therapists' fingers firmly pressure tense tissues, aiming to alleviate chronic pain and spontaneous muscle spasms stemming from prolonged exposure to The Super Bowl Shuffle. The massage promotes circulation and attempts to balance chakras—the confluence points of bodily-energy channels—which, when obstructed, may exacerbate aches or translate all incoming sounds into irritating pig Latin. For an additional fee, Groupon customers can upgrade to a deep-tissue massage. Call ahead to schedule an appointment.