In order to literally put the “nail in the coffin,” one would have to cautiously explain where the rest of the body went and why that nail is purple when the boss specifically requested chamoisee sparkle. Forgo grim appendages with today's Groupon: for $24, you get the manicure and spa pedicure at Nailtique Nail Salon (a $48 value).

Over the course of approximately 90 minutes, your opposable knuckle sticks will be equipped with shiny new finger helmets worthy of a Costanza hand model. Put your hands and feet where a member of the skilled and licensed staff can see them, and you'll be rewarded with a soak and neat trimming of fingernails and toenails. Perfectly symmetrical tips will take the place of formerly unruly edges. Cuticles will be gently groomed into a more sightly disposition. The skilled 'curists will massage your feet with their hands and your hands with their feet, leaving your handlebars and kickstands feeling buttery and spry. A deliberate polishing finishes up your transformation from hand and foot abandon to extreme extremity envy. The pedicure also includes a foot scrub and hot towel wrap, a perfect companion for relaxing in the comfortable, spa-like atmosphere. Call to schedule an appointment with the professional cuticle coaches.