What You'll Get
Light comes in many forms—be it beautiful, like a rainbow, practical, like a laser, or awe-inspiring, like an applause sign’s first live studio performance. Harness the beautifying power of light with today's Groupon: for $1199, you get six Zerona treatments by Gladys E. Negron, MD, (a $2,400 value), in Simi Valley.
Employing a straightforward and professional demeanor, Dr. Gladys E. Negron harnesses the FDA-approved Zerona cold-laser technology, designed to reduce corporeal circumferences by an average of 3.5 inches. After an initial consultation to determine conflicting health issues and shoo away cinnamon buns posing as love handles, clients relax beneath a beam-slinging apparatus for 40 minutes as it glides low-light lasers over their waistline, back, hips, and thighs, emulsifying adipose tissue so that fat can sneak its way out of the body. The disintegrated lipid depots can then be absorbed by the body’s obsessively tidy lymphatic system and expelled through the body’s natural detoxification process and complex system of water-slides. The noninvasive treatment does not require any recovery time.
Dr. Negron performs the six treatment sessions within 72 hours of one another over the span of two weeks. Patients can boost results with healthy eating habits, daily exercise, and regular hydration. Like sumo-wrestling costumes, caffeine and alcohol decrease the procedure’s potency.
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Feb 2, 2012. Amount paid never expires. Limit 1 per person, may buy 1 additional as a gift. Must activate by 2/1/12, treatments must be completed within 2 weeks from activation date. Must be 18 or older, or have guardian consent. Must use all treatments on same area. Must meet medical requirements. Includes required pre-treatment consultation. Non-transferable. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.