Ever since it was discovered on the moon’s surface, organic food has supplanted "things wrapped in fried dough" as the preferred food of healthy eaters and discriminating garbage-scavenging animals. See what all the fuss is about with today’s Groupon. For $35, you get $75 worth of local organic food from Nature's Prime Organic Foods delivered straight to your doorstep, stoop, or balloon-hoisted sky fortress. Shipping under $100 has a flat rate of $14.99, while anything over $100 is free.
Nature's Prime obtains its organic foods from a variety of local farmers who use renewable resources and conserve soil and water without resorting to antibiotics, growth hormones, pesticides, bioengineering, and gene splicing with giant carnivorous plants. Its poultry and meat come from Wisconsin; its fish are line-caught; its scallops hail from the East Coast; its shrimp are farm raised (to avoid Gulf pollution); and its fresh fruit is delivered via giant suction tube directly from the Brazilian jungle. NPO Foods is also affiliated with the Minnesota Timberwolves, so it's one of the rare organic food purveyors that also supports its locally grown slam dunks, free throws, and rebounds, which are always best fresh off the backboard.
Tasty items like Nature's Prime's Fair Trade French roast coffee ($15.20), Alaskan halibut ($16), and organic New York strip steaks ($26) provide a higher-octane fuel for your food-injected stomach-engine. Beyond the high-quality meats, vegetarians can enjoy an organic produce package ($60) of fresh apples, oranges, broccoli, carrots, celery, and assorted greens. Cut out grocery store middlemen and squeaky-wheeled shopping carts with today's Groupon to Nature's Prime Organic Foods.
This Groupon is for non-membership purchases only.
- Just wanted to let you know we recieved [sic] our first order...and have just finished eating the two filets. Absolutely out-of-this-world delicious! Beyond even MY expectations, and they're pretty high! ;) Can't wait to try the lobser [sic] tails and the other steaks. – Sharissa