Like fine marble statues, human bodies must be touched up on a regular basis lest their surfaces dull, their north sides moss, and their forearms fall off. Lavish your life vehicle with today's Groupon: for $75, you get a European facial and a therapeutic massage at Neal's The Hair Studio & Day Spa (a $150 value).
At Neal's, a team of highly trained pampering professionals apply the latest age- and ache-combating techniques to restore beauty and bliss to flushed faces and embattled backs. During the customized, one-hour European facial, an aesthetician will perform an analysis of the frumpled face in question before administering a thorough cleansing and exfoliating vegetable peel to exorcise the ear-framed masterpiece of dead, dry skin cells (a $70 value). Afterward, a facial massage kneads away tenderness and eases facial stress brought on by years of awkward elevator small talk.
To mollycoddle patients' subfacial regions, a massage therapist will unmalign muscles with a one-hour therapeutic massage at the client's pace preference (an $80 value). During the freeform treatment, the therapist will apply soothing strokes of varying intensity, and areas of interest can be pinpointed and exclusively worked on if requested, relieving pain and melting stress the way a flock of baby dragons melts the heart.