What You'll Get
According to health experts, a lifetime of exposure to forest animals, poisoned apples, and smack-talking enchanted mirrors can lead to bodily malaise. Purge your system of fairytale ills with today’s deal: for $40, you get a natural body detox package (an $85 value) at New Care in Middletown Plaza.
New Care provides a variety of health products and therapeutic treatments for nontoxic body detoxification. With New Care’s natural detox process, customers get a dose of hyperbaric oxygen therapy, which works by increasing the barometric pressure inside an ultrafuturistic chamber as the patient inhales pure oxygen and exhales pure delight. Afterward, clients can enjoy two sessions in an infrared sauna and bask in a warm, healthy glow without sustaining the destructive side effects of actual sunlight or Easy-Bake Ovens. New Care recommends drinking plenty of water before entering the saunas and wearing loose-fitting clothing, such as wizard robes or Hammer pants, during the sessions.
Although the military originally developed hyperbaric oxygen therapy in the 1940s to treat divers with the bends, the treatment has also been used by professional athletes to increase endurance and minimize downtime after injuries. Inside one of New Care’s 7-foot clear plastic tubes, experience a rejuvenating treatment that can help already healthy people feel even healthier and less clogged with contagions, unlike sleeping in a sewer with a stolen oxygen tank strapped to your back, a practice favored by CHUDS, Morlocks, and Norman Rockwell.
Must be 18. Call to schedule an appointment.
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Jan 19, 2011. Amount paid never expires. Limit 1 per person, may buy 1 additional as gift. Reservation required. Subject to availability. Must be at least 18. Not valid with other offers. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.