Mankind's feeble climbing skills and inability to digest delicious tin cans are two ways in which evolution left humans inferior to goats. Channel an inner mountain goat with today's Groupon: for $125, you get a four-hour private guided rock-climbing tour for two from New River Climbing School at the Canyon Rim Visitor Center in Lansing, West Virginia (a $250 value).
Lead by PCGI-certified guide David Wolff, New River Climbing School combines its vast knowledge of rock climbing and the New River Gorge for personal guided tours. During the half-day private climbing tour, friendly guides lead climbers to a host of different vertical opportunities in New River Gorge, each with spectacular views of the surrounding country. Tours are customized according to ability level—ranging from the beginner-friendly top-roping and single-pitch routes to the more advanced multipitch routes for seasoned climbers looking to brush up on techniques before signing on as an extra in Cliffhanger 2. Though transportation and the park-entrance fee are not included in this deal, each tour includes the necessary harness, shoes, helmet, and belay device. Gather a group of up to six fellow mountain-goat impersonators and contact New River Climbing School to set up a tour.
New River Climbing School
New River Climbing School’s PCGI-trained and certified staff, led by senior cragsman David Wolff, shepherds climbers of all skill levels skyward during a variety of education-packed tours. Small groups equipped with the necessary climbing and rappelling gear—such as shoes, helmets, and microphones for amplifying yodels—follow the step-by-step instructions of experienced guides, who undergo rigid evaluations before earning a spot on the school’s team. Throughout each adventure, the New River Gorge coddles sensory receptors with an array of sites, sounds, and smells, including kaleidoscopic rock swirls and towering mountains chiseled into words of encouragement. Half-day and full-weekend tours enable the staff to further cater to guests from varying backgrounds, occupations, and experience levels.